Well, first of all let me tell you that english is not my native language, and I rarely write something, so..if you see some mistakes, please have compassion of this hispanic girl haha.
As you may notice, dear follower, I ‘m an african american girl, or at least this is my stronger heritage among the whole genetic package I got haha, and within this heritage it comes a big responsability for a girl.
I must admit it, I don’t know how to manage natural/afro hair, and yes, I know is weird, but really, I just don’t. I mean, I ‘m african american, but my hair was relaxed in an early stage of my life (I could have six or seven, don’t remember) because of social preseaure mostly because I was on a school where most girl have silky, wavy hair and I was some sort of freak with my lovely braids, now I see them that way. Nevertheless, since that moment, I got my hair relaxed every 4 or 5 weeks until now, so I can say that I have lived most of my life without having to take care of an afro. In addition to my personal situation, I don’t have sisters, cousins or even friends with my same type of hair, so I didn’t get the chance to “learn” how to manage that type of hair even in a vicarious way.
But since my 10 th grade, I ‘ve been doing something to my hair, and it is braid it and then using extension, that in a rare way made me connect with the natural reality of my real hair. I remember the first time I could contemplate my real hair in its whole glory after 2 years using braid-ed extensions. It was beautiful in its very own way…tangled, perpendicular to my skull, a very deep brown (not that brown-ish color that is left after using a lot of chemicals).
It was rough, yes, but it was long, curly, natural, but most important..mine.
I couldn’t help to dip my fingers in it, feel this odd, but familiar roughness, and I looked into the mirror that very moment, and I felt like I was the center of the sun and my hairs were those majestic rays that surround it. It was perfect, and since then I started to contemplate the idea of go all natural. Not just a section of my hair, as I have always done.
But then is this fear…that I won’t be able to manage it..won’t be able to make it pretty as the other girls that have gone natural because my hair is not like those that make these beautiful twist and rings, it’s something similiar to a really wavy hairs that rings itself but in a really tiny way.. I don’t know how could I make it look the way magazines have made me believe a beautiul afro should look like..
So here me again, with an afro that has got grown for at least 2 years…being relaxed for my sake, for my fear to not know how to make it work, and in last instance, to the unknown of my very own true self.
Nevertheless, I dream that in not a far future I will grow the courage to see it AND keep it, my beautiful and natural afro hair. Someday we will be together, as it should have to be.